I recently came across this post on Facebook from The Feathered Nest whose bio says it’s run by a Christian woman involved in foster care. What she writes is a common criticism often leveled at pro-life advocates. Let’s break down various parts and think clearly about them.
“You say you’re pro-life. You post the ultrasounds. You march. You rally. You cry out for the unborn… and you should. Every life matters, even in the womb. No one’s arguing that.“
Pause. No one’s arguing that? More than half the country is confused about precisely that. A majority of people in this country support legal abortion and do not see preborn children as equally valuable to born children. One reason for this is that many don’t believe abortion kills a human. Perhaps she means “no one” in regards to people who say they are pro-life, but in that case she would be ignoring the fact that even many people who say they are against abortion believe it should be legal for others. Other people who might claim to be pro-life will agree the human being in the womb matters, but they think the right to a woman’s body matters more or that the difficult circumstances women are in justify taking a human being’s life anyways. Whatever is meant by “no one’s arguing that every life matters,” the writer is either careless or gravely unaware of how people in general view abortion and preborn children in this country.
Lip service can be given to the value of the preborn, but when you start asking questions and gain a deeper understanding of someone’s view, you will find that many people who say they are pro-life actually are confused about how much the human being in the womb matters and is worthy of our attention. You’ll find many don’t really believe abortion is a human rights violation. If they did believe that, we wouldn’t be hearing them tell us we should “focus on something else.”
The writer goes on:
“But I’ve watched you go silent the minute that baby takes its first breath. Where are you when that same baby is born exposed to substances? When mama’s still using and daddy’s still disappearing? Where are you when the hospital calls CPS before they even cut the cord? Where are you when that “precious life” is screaming in a stranger’s arms because the world decided they were worth saving, but not worth fighting for once they were born? You call yourself pro-life. But you’re not. You’re pro-birth.“
Coming from someone who says we should cry out for the preborn, how is saving a child from being killed by starvation, poisoning or dismemberment not enough? Why is that being diminished here? I’m going to rewrite part of this post so you can see the problem with this kind of criticism pro-life advocates regularly receive:
You say you want to fight sex-trafficking You rescue people who have been kidnapped and lured into that evil world. You save them from being further abused in that environment. But as time goes on, they struggle with other things. You care when they’re victims of sex trafficking… and you should. But I watch you go silent the minute that survivor struggles afterward. Life goes on and they are free now. But they struggle to establish healthy relationships. They struggle to pay the bills. They struggle to find stable housing. They struggle to buy food. They struggle to pay for college. Where are you when this person is crying and needs other help? Where are you when they are having nightmares from their trauma? You say you care about these victims but you don’t. You only care about them enough to get them free from their traffickers. As soon as they are free, you don’t care anymore.
When you substitute another injustice in this post, you see the problem. This whole post echoes many common pro-choice talking points. Pro-life people are not silent after the baby is born. That is a lie. Pro-lifers do so much to care for children after they are born. Look at all the pregnancy centers that exist to do just that. Look at all the churches helping women and their families who are struggling. Look at all the pro-life people adopting and fostering. Look at all the pro-life people giving their finances to help mothers in difficult situations.
But, even if pro-life advocates were “silent” after they were born, and they solely focused on saving children from being killed, that would not diminish the importance of that work. Imagine an EMT who responds to medical emergencies and saves children’s lives after injuries and accidents. Imagine people said the following to him:
You were here to save them from death But not the aftermath. Not the night terrors. Not the broken families. Not the trauma that doesn’t go away just because a child survives it. That child enters foster care. A number in a broken system. You’re saving other children from death But you’re not fixing the lives of all the other broken children who remain because you saved them. Don’t stand on the steps of a capitol and cry out to save children if you’re not willing to open your door to the ones you have saved. Your compassion has an expiration date.
So saving a child from being killed and not solving all these other tragic issues means your compassion has an expiration date?
Based on the bio of the Feathered Nest Blog Facebook page, the woman is a Christian involved in foster care. That’s wonderful. That’s important work, and I’m glad she’s doing it. To act like focusing on saving preborn children from death is not “getting in the mess,” though, makes me seriously question if this person knows what it’s like to fight the injustice of abortion. It makes me seriously question if she actually believes that saving children from abortion is important. It makes me wonder if she really understands that the unborn are human beings just like us and deserve to be protected from violence just like we do.
What if someone told the author that being involved in foster care isn’t enough? (To be clear, I am not saying this. It’s a hypothetical to make the point.) What if someone told her if she really cared about children, she’d also be giving her time and finances to help children fight cancer, bullying, hunger, and she’d pay for the education and healthcare for all these children. If she doesn’t, well, then her compassion has an expiration date and she’s just not “in the mess.” Would we see that as a valid criticism? Of course not.
She also says:
“Jesus didn’t stop loving us when we became complicated. You say you’re pro-life? Then get in the mess. Real pro-life work begins after the birth. So don’t just say you’re pro-life. And for the love of God… don’t call it “God’s will” when it’s just your comfort talking.“
Time out. Really think about what she just said here. Let’s read this in another light:
Jesus didn’t stop loving us when we became complicated. You say you’re against sex-trafficking? Then get in the mess. Real work begins after the children are saved from that violence. So don’t just say you’re against sex trafficking And for the love of God… Don’t call rescuing people from sex slavery “God’s will” When it’s just your comfort talking
Get in the mess with people? Real work begins after? Publicly standing against abortion is just our comfort talking? This is so demeaning. This shows an amazing level of ignorance as to what is involved in publicly standing against abortion. There is nothing comfortable about standing up for preborn children in this country. When we do, we are regularly maligned, belittled, and slandered. We are often told our work is pointless and not worth doing. We are verbally and sometimes even physically abused.
The pain so many people are feeling in thinking about a current pregnancy or a past abortion is very real. Pro-life work entails meeting post-abortive women and connecting them to healing resources that so many people do not know about. It’s walking with them in their pain. It entails supporting and being with women and their families in a crisis pregnancy and connecting them to resources so they can get the help and support they need. It involves having difficult, messy, and important conversations with people about human value and how our actions affect the most vulnerable among us. This is just a brief overview of what pro-life work entails. All of it is a mess in itself. We step into the middle of all of this, both gently and boldly, for the children, yes, and for those in distress. We are in the mess. It may not be the same mess she’s in, but it’s still a mess and our work is very real.
The views and opinions expressed in these articles are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Human Defense Initiative.
Rebekah Dyer
Rebekah is a Training Specialist with Justice For All. You can follow her work at jfaweb.org/rebekah-dyer
“You say you are pro-life, but…”
Rebekah Dyer
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A response to the Feathered Nest Blog
I recently came across this post on Facebook from The Feathered Nest whose bio says it’s run by a Christian woman involved in foster care. What she writes is a common criticism often leveled at pro-life advocates. Let’s break down various parts and think clearly about them.
Pause. No one’s arguing that? More than half the country is confused about precisely that. A majority of people in this country support legal abortion and do not see preborn children as equally valuable to born children. One reason for this is that many don’t believe abortion kills a human. Perhaps she means “no one” in regards to people who say they are pro-life, but in that case she would be ignoring the fact that even many people who say they are against abortion believe it should be legal for others. Other people who might claim to be pro-life will agree the human being in the womb matters, but they think the right to a woman’s body matters more or that the difficult circumstances women are in justify taking a human being’s life anyways. Whatever is meant by “no one’s arguing that every life matters,” the writer is either careless or gravely unaware of how people in general view abortion and preborn children in this country.
Lip service can be given to the value of the preborn, but when you start asking questions and gain a deeper understanding of someone’s view, you will find that many people who say they are pro-life actually are confused about how much the human being in the womb matters and is worthy of our attention. You’ll find many don’t really believe abortion is a human rights violation. If they did believe that, we wouldn’t be hearing them tell us we should “focus on something else.”
The writer goes on:
Coming from someone who says we should cry out for the preborn, how is saving a child from being killed by starvation, poisoning or dismemberment not enough? Why is that being diminished here? I’m going to rewrite part of this post so you can see the problem with this kind of criticism pro-life advocates regularly receive:
You say you want to fight sex-trafficking
You rescue people who have been kidnapped and lured into that evil world.
You save them from being further abused in that environment.
But as time goes on, they struggle with other things.
You care when they’re victims of sex trafficking… and you should.
But I watch you go silent the minute that survivor struggles afterward.
Life goes on and they are free now.
But they struggle to establish healthy relationships.
They struggle to pay the bills.
They struggle to find stable housing.
They struggle to buy food.
They struggle to pay for college.
Where are you when this person is crying and needs other help?
Where are you when they are having nightmares from their trauma?
You say you care about these victims but you don’t.
You only care about them enough to get them free from their traffickers.
As soon as they are free, you don’t care anymore.
When you substitute another injustice in this post, you see the problem. This whole post echoes many common pro-choice talking points. Pro-life people are not silent after the baby is born. That is a lie. Pro-lifers do so much to care for children after they are born. Look at all the pregnancy centers that exist to do just that. Look at all the churches helping women and their families who are struggling. Look at all the pro-life people adopting and fostering. Look at all the pro-life people giving their finances to help mothers in difficult situations.
But, even if pro-life advocates were “silent” after they were born, and they solely focused on saving children from being killed, that would not diminish the importance of that work. Imagine an EMT who responds to medical emergencies and saves children’s lives after injuries and accidents. Imagine people said the following to him:
You were here to save them from death
But not the aftermath.
Not the night terrors.
Not the broken families.
Not the trauma that doesn’t go away just because a child survives it.
That child enters foster care.
A number in a broken system.
You’re saving other children from death
But you’re not fixing the lives of all the other broken children who remain because you saved them.
Don’t stand on the steps of a capitol and cry out to save children
if you’re not willing to open your door to the ones you have saved.
Your compassion has an expiration date.
So saving a child from being killed and not solving all these other tragic issues means your compassion has an expiration date?
Based on the bio of the Feathered Nest Blog Facebook page, the woman is a Christian involved in foster care. That’s wonderful. That’s important work, and I’m glad she’s doing it. To act like focusing on saving preborn children from death is not “getting in the mess,” though, makes me seriously question if this person knows what it’s like to fight the injustice of abortion. It makes me seriously question if she actually believes that saving children from abortion is important. It makes me wonder if she really understands that the unborn are human beings just like us and deserve to be protected from violence just like we do.
What if someone told the author that being involved in foster care isn’t enough? (To be clear, I am not saying this. It’s a hypothetical to make the point.) What if someone told her if she really cared about children, she’d also be giving her time and finances to help children fight cancer, bullying, hunger, and she’d pay for the education and healthcare for all these children. If she doesn’t, well, then her compassion has an expiration date and she’s just not “in the mess.” Would we see that as a valid criticism? Of course not.
She also says:
Time out. Really think about what she just said here. Let’s read this in another light:
Jesus didn’t stop loving us when we became complicated.
You say you’re against sex-trafficking?
Then get in the mess.
Real work begins after the children are saved from that violence.
So don’t just say you’re against sex trafficking
And for the love of God…
Don’t call rescuing people from sex slavery “God’s will”
When it’s just your comfort talking
Get in the mess with people? Real work begins after? Publicly standing against abortion is just our comfort talking? This is so demeaning. This shows an amazing level of ignorance as to what is involved in publicly standing against abortion. There is nothing comfortable about standing up for preborn children in this country. When we do, we are regularly maligned, belittled, and slandered. We are often told our work is pointless and not worth doing. We are verbally and sometimes even physically abused.
The pain so many people are feeling in thinking about a current pregnancy or a past abortion is very real. Pro-life work entails meeting post-abortive women and connecting them to healing resources that so many people do not know about. It’s walking with them in their pain. It entails supporting and being with women and their families in a crisis pregnancy and connecting them to resources so they can get the help and support they need. It involves having difficult, messy, and important conversations with people about human value and how our actions affect the most vulnerable among us. This is just a brief overview of what pro-life work entails. All of it is a mess in itself. We step into the middle of all of this, both gently and boldly, for the children, yes, and for those in distress. We are in the mess. It may not be the same mess she’s in, but it’s still a mess and our work is very real.
Cover photo by Álvaro Serrano on Unsplash
Rebekah Dyer
Rebekah is a Training Specialist with Justice For All. You can follow her work at jfaweb.org/rebekah-dyer
The views and opinions expressed in these articles are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Human Defense Initiative.
Rebekah Dyer
COMMENTARY
NATIONAL
INTERNATIONAL
The People of the State of California v. Heartbeat International and RealOptions
NEW REGISTRY: Mama Suffered Spinal Cord Injury & Needs Help
Abortion Laws, Definitions, and Exceptions in all 50 States
Saving Babies, One Letter at a Time: Discover Letters of Hope
Avery Becomes 83rd Sanctuary City for the Unborn
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